


What Could Have Been

by orphan_account



Series: In Heaven or Hell [1]
Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Bisexuality, Depression, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Gore, Lesbian Character, Mental Health Issues, NSFW, Oral Sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Rough Sex, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 01:22:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4984384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was supposed to be the weekend of a lifetime. But it all went so terribly wrong. Now two of Contessa Delgado's best friends and the boy she is in love with are all irreparably mentally scarred and she doesn't know what will come of it. But when Josh invites her and the rest of their friends up to the Mount Washington Lodge for the year anniversary of the horrible tragedy that befell them, she thinks things will start to be alright again. Will they be?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I would just like to start of by saying that I believe all characters in Until Dawn are from Alberta, Canada. That is just my personal opinion so I will be writing the story according to such. Now, Contessa Delgado is my own original character. She is nineteen like most of the kids excluding Chris and Josh. You can read more about her on the tags page of of my tumblr writeuntildawn.tumblr.com. This first chapter is as lighthearted as it gets, folks. Some porn and some jokes and then we'll dive into horrible death pranks and despair, don't worry!

It was one in the morning, party of a lifetime. Well, to most average high school kids, it would most likely seem quite lame. I mean eleven teenagers sitting in a big empty lodge up on a mountain, isolated from the rest of the world? Boring. But to all of them, it was heaven. In their school they were possibly one of the most diverse group of friends to ever be seen. You had the rich twins and their brother who was already in college, the wannabe cheerleader, the stereotypical smart and bitchy asian, the meathead jock, the douchebag class president, the technology whizz, the redheaded bookworm, the lovable vegan, and the punk rocker with a big heart. 

But it’s not like they didn’t have their own ways of having fun. They had been dipping into the the Washington parents’ sizeable stash of liquor quite effectively. It’s not like they’d ever notice anyway, since their film careers took off they never had the kind of time to pay attention to those details. This lodge that used to be the family getaway could now be used at the eldest Washington child’s leisure for his shenanigans, and he did not pass that opportunity. He brought up his closest friends with him as well as his two younger sisters up to their lodge. No parents, no problems. 

This weekend’s shenanigans currently consisted of gunning whiskey with his best friend, Chris, and his little sisters’ best friend, Contessa. He knew this probably wasn’t the best idea but hey, it was winter break of his freshman year of college. The time to live it up right? Everyone else had been drinking, it was obvious by the red solo cups, bottles, and cans that now littered the kitchen and surrounding area. But Chris in particular was looking a bit woozy and Josh laughed at him.

“Ya alright there, buddy?” Josh asked him as he leaned of the island in the lodge’s spacious kitchen to nudge him. 

Chris’s head launched up off the table that it was resting on with a start. “Y-yeah, bro. Why did you-- why you ask?” His words were so slurred it was mediocre and his eyes were starting to fall into a lull again.

“You guys are total idiots,” Beth said as she leaned against the island counter. “I bet neither of you could walk a slightly straight line and Chris is going to pass out in thirty seconds.”

“Oh, chill out, Beth!” Tessa chided at her. “It’s not like you haven’t had any tonight. And we’re just having some fun, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“I’ve had a few beers tonight, true. But at least I’m not practically drowning my liver in scotch.”

“Give it a break, lil sis,” Josh slurred as he ruffled Beth’s hair. “My liver’s just fine. I don’t need you lookin’ out f-for your big bro. S’all good.” 

Tessa got up from her chair and stumbled over to the door. “Well, the sibling rivalry can keep on down here but I’m gonna go take a shower. Later, losers.” And with that Tessa headed out of the kitchen and up the ginormous lodge stairs. She had just made it up to the living room when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She yelped in fear and lurched forward clumsily towards the couch, her fingers gripping onto the armrest and her breath coming out in startled pants. She whipped around to see who had approached her. 

Josh was standing behind her, laughing at her. “Holy shit, Tessa!” He gasped for air as he laughed at her. “That was too good! You should have seen your face!”

“Joshua Washington, you piece of shit!” She shrieked at him. “Oh! I could just snap you in half right now!” She reached out, presumably to hit him. But in her intoxicated state it was easy for her to miss, as well as for him to dodge her. 

His hands slid to her hips and pulled her against him. He leaned down to her height to whisper in her ear, “Oh Tessie, I’d love to see you try.” With that he pulled back from her, winked, and then proceeded to walk up the stairs away from her. She could hear him chuckling to himself as he retreated and she could do nothing but stand there feeling starstruck.

Did he know? Did he know she had major feelings for him? I mean he’s an amazing guy and she’d known him since she was five years old, could you blame her? No, there’s no way he could know. Unless Chris told him tonight? Chris was completely shitfaced, who knew what he said to Josh in her absence. But what if Josh did know...was it such a bad thing? He didn’t exactly seem opposed. While she was neck deep in her own alcohol enthused thoughts she didn’t even notice her own best friend, Ashley scurry over to her.

“What the hell was that?!” She squealed into Tessa’s ear as she latched onto her arm. “I totally saw that! You guys were completely pressed against each other!”

Contessa blew out a sigh, “Yeah, Ash, I know I was there.”

“Okay, well, what the hell was it? He literally looked like he wanted to devour you!”

“Y’know, that’s an interesting thought,” Contessa contemplated with a raised eyebrow. “To be honest with you, mija, I have no fuckin’ clue what was up with that...but I think I’m gonna go find out.”

Ashley “oohed” at her and giggled as she gave her a little shove up the stairs. Tessa smiled and laughed while she turned and swatted at Ashley, there would be no shoving while she was drunk on her watch. She took a deep breath and began her ascent up the stairs, albeit stumbling a bit of the way. She made her way up to Josh’s door and took another shaky breath. Her head felt a great deal less spinny now so thoughts were zooming through her mind. Did she really wanna do this? And why was she so nervous about whatever was gonna happen? What was she even expecting anyway? She raised her hand and lightly rapped her knuckles against the wooden door. 

“Yeah?!” She heard Josh call from within his room, probably not even getting off his bed. 

“Hey umm..” She started, “it’s me, Josh.” Hopefully he wasn’t too inebriated to not realize who “me” was. But she heard shuffling around in his room, almost like he was jumping off his bed. Was he in a rush or was she imagining things? Then the door opened in front of her and there he was, leaning against the doorway in all his stupid shirtless glory. 

“Hey there, Tessie,” He said with his signature smile. “What can I do you for?”

She felt blush rush to her cheeks. Why was she blushing? This was just Josh! She’d known him since she was five years old. Man, she really needed to get it together. “Uh, I don’t really know, actually. I don’t know what the others are up to and Chris is kinda zonked out.”

“Oh,” He drawled back at her. Then he stepped aside and gestured into his room. “So you wanna come in then? I was just gonna watch a movie and sleep or whatever.” 

She smiled as she walked past him to sit on his queen sized bed in his ridiculously large room. “Oh. My my, is the infamous Josh Washington trying to ‘Netflix and chill’ me?” 

“Ha ha very funny, Tessie,” He replied dryly as he looked through his movie collection, finally settling on Pearl Harbor. After he put it in he flopped himself back on the bed and put his hands behind his head. After Tessa took off her boots and some of the sweaters she had layered on she laid back on the bed too. 

A few minutes passed into the movie and Josh looked over at her inquisitively, gesturing his arm out. “So like, are you gonna come over here or what?” Tessa chuckled and made her way over to lay her head on his chest, and after a few minutes their legs were tangled together. Honestly this wasn’t this first time they’d done this, I mean they’d known each other for thirteen years, they were pretty comfortable with each other. 

About thirty minutes passed in comfortable silence until Tessa audibly sighed and a red flag went off in Joshua’s medicated head. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked her as he nudged her. 

Tessa shrugged. “I mean it’s nothing really. I just thought that tonight I was gonna drink and get drunk and be a really crazy party mood and all that shit. But like everyone just kind of spread out and did their own thing. And I mean yeah, I did get drunk but now I’ve sobered up a lot and just kinda wanna go to bed.” 

Josh took a while to process that in his mind. I mean now that he thought about it, he did feel a lot more sober now. Granted, not a hundred percent sober given the decision he was about to make. But I mean come on, he’s liked Tessa for years now and when was he gonna get this perfect chance again? “Oh, really? That’s a bummer.”

“Yeah,” Tessa drawled out on a sigh. “Wait, how come?”

“Because. I want to do this.” And with that he cupped her face with one hand and leaned over her to kiss her. Not a hungry, lust filled kiss. Or small and shy peck on the lips. But a deep rooted and passion filled one, years of repressed emotions poured into it. When he didn’t feel her responding he pulled back. “Shit, Tessie. Fuck I’m sorry I don’t know wh--”

She placed a finger to his lips to silence him, then slid it into his hair to pull him closer again. “Why’d you stop?”

“W-well I mean you didn’t kiss back and I thought you didn’t like it and even now I’m still kind of unclear as to what’s exactly going on right now and I don’t want to fuck anything up because you mean a lot to me and--”

She cut him off with a small kiss. “Josh. You talk too much.” She pulled him back down for another kiss. This one much deeper and their arms went around each other, Josh now fully on top of her. When Tessa tugged on his hair and drew his bottom lip between her teeth he moaned into her mouth. And boy, did that set her on fire. Josh traced his tongue along her lower lip and she let him in without hesitation, their tongues tangling immediately. Why on Earth did they wait so long for this? It felt so right. 

Tessa rolled her hips up to grind against Josh’s and she pulled away for a moment to catch her breath and look at him. “Um, wow,” She voiced with raised eyebrows at Josh. 

“What can I say, Tessie? You do things to me.” He ground his hips down into hers and winked when she whimpered in response. He moved down to her neck, peppering small open mouthed kisses anywhere he could lips on. She blew out a breath that sounded somewhat close to a moan when he gently bit down so he took it as a sign to do more. He continued to kiss down and down and down until her shirt got in his way.

He grabbed the hem of her t-shirt, “May I?” He asked as he nudged it up a little. Tessa nodded as she bit her lip and Josh pulled her shirt over her head, revealing her red lacy bra. “Fuck,” Josh said on a breath. “Tessie, you’re so beautiful.” He was the only one who called her that. Other people had tried, but no one else was allowed. It only sounded right when he said it, and she was loving it right now. Josh kissed right above the cup the of her bra and her breath hitched, and she moaned when he started nipping and sucking. No doubt leaving dark marks scattered around her chest that she would most definitely show to Ashley the next morning. 

She pulled him back up to her to kiss him again and moaned into his mouth when their tongues met once more. Josh pulled back again and laughed lightly when Tessa made a little whine of protest. He kissed his way around both of her breasts, down her stomach, and down to the hem of her black leggings. He looked back up at her and asked permission with his eyes, to which she nodded at again. He grabbed the edge of one of her socks, kissed the inside of her leg, and pulled it down and off her leg. Then proceeded to do the same with the other one. He finally peeled her tight leggings off of her legs and there she was. One of his closest friends laid out in front of him in her lacy underwear. 

He stood up from the bed and started to unbuckle his belt but paused when he heard Tessa hum in approval from the bed. “What?” He asked her, a smile growing on his face.

“Oh, nothing,” She replied, her arms folded behind her head and a smirk on her face. “Just the sound of your belt coming off is music to my ears.” They shared a laugh and he got the belt off. But when he went to unbutton his jeans she went to the edge of the bed and sat up on her knees so she was almost eye level with him. “Wait hang on. If we’re gonna do this there’s some things we need to take care of.”

“Oh yeah?” Josh’s arms wound around her petite waist and pulled her against him. “And what is ‘this’ that we’re doing?”

“Shut up, you smug bastard.” She replied with a coy smile and cupped his face to kiss him again. “Me,” Josh didn’t let her finish and kept pulling her back in to keep kissing her. “and you,” Kiss. “are gonna,” Kiss. “have,” Kiss. “sex.” She finally pushed him away for the final time. “Okay, seriously. You need to go into Ashley and I’s room. There’s a box of condoms in my suitcase, front pocket.”

“My oh my! Were you planning this Ms. Delgado?”

She turned him around and pushed him towards the door with a laugh. “Go. I promise I’ll be right here when you get back.”

Josh didn’t need to be told twice, he walked uncomfortably through the upstairs hall. The erection he had right now was not helping matters currently. He made it into her and Ashley’s room and was a little shocked to find Ashley in the room grabbing one of her beanies.

“Ooooh. Hey, Josh.” She said and crossed her arms and smiled at him. “It’s pretty chilly out there, eh? Shouldn’t you have a shirt on?” She laughed at the expression of absolute shock he gave her and reached into Tessa’s bag. As she walked past him to leave she threw the box of condoms into his hands. “Have fun, buddy. Don’t rough up my best friend too much. I’m going to hang with everyone else.” 

After she left Josh just kind of stood there for a second. How did Ashley know they were doing something right now? Should he go after her and tell her to keep quiet about it? He thought about it for a second. No. He should definitely go back to the room where a half naked Tessa was waiting for him. He all but ran his way back to his room and when he saw her again his breath was taken away. It’s almost like he forgot how beautiful she really was. 

“Jeez! Took ya long enough,” Tessa said with a grin on her face. She waved him over to her. “Get back here, loverboy. Your woman needs you.” 

Josh sauntered over to the bed and tossed the box onto the bedside table. “My woman, huh? I like the sound of that.” He climbed over her and leaned down to kiss her again. This time filled with lust and passion, all teeth and tongues. And both of them felt drunk on each other, scotch or not. She arched her back into into him and he took that as a sign to unhook her bra, which he did with one hand. He pulled it off of her body and threw it carelessly across the room. He immediately dove down to her chest, his bite marks already scattered about, and took one of her nipples into his mouth. This time Tessa really moaned out loud. 

Josh pulled away, smiled at her, and placed his finger to his lips as if to say “keep quiet or the others will hear us.” Then he moved back down, sucking her other nipple into his mouth without breaking eye contact. Tessa’s head fell back as she breathed heavily and tangled her hands in his hair. He started to trail kisses down the valley of her breasts, down her stomach, and to the scrap of black lace that covered her. He kissed her through her panties and her hips jerked. From between her legs Josh smiled at her and that was probably the best sight she had ever seen in her life. He pulled her underwear down her legs and her heart started pounding in her chest. 

He didn’t even waste any time, they had been dancing around this sexual tension for years. He licked a bold stripe all the way up her pussy to her clit and drew it into his mouth. She threw her right arm over her mouth to muffle the sounds she was making, because he was barely getting started and he was already working wonders on her. He threw her legs over his shoulders as he continued to suck on her clit and rejoiced in the way her hands gripped his hair and how her hips ground into his mouth. He slid two fingers into her and started to thrust them in and out slowly. 

“God, baby, you’re so fucking wet,” He muttered against her. 

She smiled down at him and tugged on his hair. “What can I say, Josh? You do things to me,” She echoed his words from earlier. She laughed lightly but it abruptly turned into a moan when he curved his fingers inside her to find her g-spot and her back arched. She moaned loudly and Josh slapped the side of her thigh lightly. 

“If you want me to keep going, Tessie, I need you to be quiet,” He scolded her. But he kept going. His fingers pushing in and out over and over again and his tongue moving over her clit again and again. A mix of that and his fingers curling now and then it was almost too much for her. The deep guttural sounds of pleasure he made as he ate her out were driving her insane. She was writhing under him like a madwoman and he snaked his free hand to one of hers and laced their fingers together when she felt her muscles starting to tense. 

“F-fuck, Josh! I’m so close!” She whimpered to him and he picked up the pace even further and her hips bucked against him. Her teeth dug into her bottom lip so hard she was worried she would draw blood and her hands were fisted in the sheets so hard from her efforts to stay quiet. Small whimpers of his name and quiet breathy moans escaped her as her orgasm overtook her and waves upon waves of pleasure kept crashing over her. Josh took her legs off of his shoulders and crawled up back to her head, him resting on his elbow while he waited for her to catch her breath. 

Her head lolled over to look at him and a lazy grin spread over her features. “Joshua Washington, that was amazing,” She sighed happily and let the tension in her muscles go. 

“Well, we ain’t done yet,” Josh replied to her as he started to unbutton his pants. “It’s about to get a whole lot more amazing. Y’know...if you can handle it.” He cast a look her way and winked at her. 

She laughed and swatted his naked back. “Shut up, you dork. You knocked me through a glass door when I was ten. I think I can handle the sex.”

All while she was saying this got his jean and boxers off and was in the process of putting on a condom. He climbed back over her and brushed some hair behind her ear. “Contessa, are you sure you wanna do this?” He hardly ever used her actual name. 

She laced both of her hands with Josh’s and look him in the eyes. “Joshua, I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life.” He nodded at her and drew in a shaky breath. He pushed in slowly and he dropped his head into the crook of her neck, a low moan coming from him.

“Fuck,” He drawled out. And the gravel in his voice gave Tessa chills. “I have been waiting for this for so long.” He started to move, slowly at first and her hips met his, thrust for thrust. But they both grew impatient and couldn’t get enough of each other. Josh untangled their hands and brought one of her legs over his shoulder. Thank God that years of dance had made her quite limber. 

“¡Ay dios mio, Josh! Jódeme!” She moaned to him. Sweet lord, he didn’t know she was gonna speak Spanish during this. But he was by no means complaining. Even though he didn’t know what she was saying. But with the way she was bucking her hips and whimpering for him he put two and two together and started to drive into her harder and faster. Her quiet moans and whispers of his name and little Spanish phrases were more than motivation for him to fuck her.

“Fuck. Shit oh my God, Tessie. Fuck, you feel so good,” Josh moaned in her ear, pounding into her pussy relentlessly. The room was filled with with the sounds of their quiet moans, skin against skin, and the bed rocking. They didn’t even care if the others heard them at this point, they were too lost in each other. 

“Hmm. Josh! ¡Carajo! ¡Tan buena tan buena!” Tessa mewled to him. He couldn’t put his finger on what it was but the way she spoke Spanish was just so sexy and alluring. He couldn’t get enough of it. He tangled one of his hands in her hair and her nails dragged down his back, most likely leaving scratches. “¡Carajo! ¡Voy a venir!” He felt her clenching around him again and as he started to come he lost himself. Slamming into her one final time before stilling and coming inside the condom, moaning into the crook of Tessa’s neck. 

They just laid there for a while, her arms around him and him still buried inside of her. But they knew they couldn’t stay this way forever. Josh pulled out of her and snatched his boxers as he got up to go to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. Tessa pulled her underwear back on and threw on Josh’s maroon t-shirt that he had been wearing under his green jumper. She pulled her hair into a messy bun and snuggled under the covers as she waited for Josh to get back. A couple minutes later and she felt his arms slide around her waist from behind. She turned over to rest her chin on her hands on his chest so she could look at him and she giggled.

“What? Why are you laughing?” Josh asked her, his smile lazy and his voice tired.

“Oh, nothing really,” Tessa said. “Well first of all, we hardly watched any of that movie. Second of all, I just had amazing sex with my best friend’s brother. Whom I have known for more than half my life. It’s kinda weird.”

“A bad kind of weird?”

She leaned up to plant a kiss on his lips. “A wonderful kind of weird.” They smiled at each other a Tessa snuggled into Josh’s chest.

“So,” Josh sighed, “I hate to put a damper on this wonderful ‘post bone-zone’ mood but I have to ask. What does this make us, Tessie?”

“Sweetie,” Tessa said on a yawn as she patted Josh’s cheek, “this can make us whatever you want it to. But I think this is a conversation best fit por la mañana. All I know is that I like you. Have for years now. But I’ve just been well and thoroughly fucked and I need to sleep. We can talk about this in the morning, okay?”

When Josh looked down at her, her eyes were already closed and she was starting to drift into sleep already. He chuckled at her. This girl could sleep anytime, anywhere. He looked back up at his ceiling with a huge grin on his face. “Yeah, Tessie. We can talk about this in the morning.” And soon after, he found himself asleep too. Cuddled up with the one girl he’s wanted to be with for years. This was going to be the best weekend ever. 

About thirty minutes after they fell asleep Emily said from downstairs, “ Oh my god! I can’t believe you actually did this!”


	2. God Bless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa visits Josh in the hospital two weeks after Hannah and Beth's disappearance. And what he tells her inspires her to look even harder for them, deeper into Blackwood Pines than she'd ever dared to go. With one of the people she'd least expected.

She pulled up to the hospital and sighed, resting her head against the steering wheel of her van. She absolutely dreaded coming to this place. What with all the doctors and stale smells in the hallways. The root of her problem was the sole reason she was even in this stupid parking lot right now. She looked at the date displayed on her phone screen, February 28th, 2014. It was officially exactly two weeks since the twins had disappeared, and in that short span of time, Contessa’s life had just spiraled out of control.

Josh already having mental health problems in the past, had a complete breakdown and had to be hospitalized. The Washington parents were absolutely stricken with grief and shock, they hardly even slept. All of her friends were completely ridden with guilt. They hadn’t even gone back to school yet. Josh’s parents had pulled him out of college for the rest of the year, he was clearly in no state to return. They all had to be questioned by the police and they’d been spending days up at the lodge in British Columbia, searching for Hannah and Beth. Tessa and Ashley had a huge falling out, Tessa completely furious at Ashley for participating in that rancid prank. She was supposed to be one of Hannah’s closest friends. But she had somewhat forgiven her within a week, they all needed the support of each other. 

She sighed and dragged herself out of her van. She had practically stopped trying with her appearances at this point. Constantly in a state of messy buns, sweatpants, and hoodies. Too mentally exhausted from sadness, guilt, and emptiness. Too physically exhausted from searching for two of her best friends, who very well might be dead by now. Too emotionally exhausted from losing Hannah and Beth, knowing the fact that her friends played this horrible prank, seeing her boyfriend go through this trauma. She just couldn’t be bothered to care anymore. She trudged her way into the hospital and up to the desk.

As she approached the desk the receptionist looked up to acknowledge her. “Contessa Delgado here to see Josh Washington, please,” She asked in a monotone voice. It felt like all of the color that had once been in her had been drained. 

The receptionist pulled a chart out from a rack of them on her desk and began to shuffle through it. “Ah, yes. You’re right here on the list. Come on hon, I’ll take you to his room.” She was nice enough. Tessa was one of the only people allowed to come visit him. Just her, his parents, and Sam and Chris. He didn’t care to see anyone else. As they approached his room his attending nurse, Angela, was just leaving. Tessa came to see him every chance she got over the last two weeks so she had formed a relationship with her. 

“Angela,” Tessa said as she jogged closer, “hey. How is he doing?”

Angela pulled her into a hug when Tessa reached her. Angela was a very friendly dark skinned woman in her mid-thirties, she took very good care of Josh. That’s all Tessa was concerned with. “Oh, sweetheart, it’s so kind of you to come by so often.” She pulled back and gave Tessa a squeeze on the arm. “He’s been doing better, darling. The new medicine we started him on has been taking good effects on him and his therapy with Dr. Hill has been going well. He hasn’t been having as much trouble with those hallucinations of his.”

Tessa took a huge sigh of relief, “Oh thank god! Can I go in and see him?”

“Of course you can, honey!” Angela said and stepped aside so Tessa could open the door and step inside. She closed the door behind her and her heart broke again when she saw him. The life and humorous glint that was once in his eyes was gone. His face was pale and it seemed as though he wasn’t eating very well. He looked so exhausted. 

“Hey,” She said as she sat down in the uncomfortable chair in the psychiatric wing of the hospital. 

His head turned to her slowly and she saw no emotion in his face. “Are they home yet?” He asked her. She hated how that was the first thing he always said to her. Because she always had to say no. She shook her head and looked down to her lap. “Oh…” He said slowly.

“But hey,” She said back to him in a comforting tone. She grabbed his hand and gave him a soft smile, “we’re all still looking. The police are trying as hard as they can and so is everyone.”

“.....Did they go down there yet?”

He asked this almost every time she visited too. He had this crazy theory that down in those old abandoned mines that they’d find someone. Find Hannah and Beth. Find a clue. Something. But the police always said it would lead to a dead end. “No, cariño, I’m sorry they haven’t.”

“Okay,” He replied in a monotone voice. It was so hard to see him like this. His eyes looked swollen like he had been crying. “Have you gone back to school yet?”

 

“No, I haven’t. I’ve been up at the lodge a lot, looking for them.” She’d learned not to mention their names. It set him off pretty bad the last time. “Between all the search parties, spreading flyers, and coming to see you I barely even think about school.” 

She saw tears well up in his eyes and alarm bells started going off in her head. “I need to talk to you, Contessa.” He all but murmured. HIs voice was shaky and he was fighting off tears. This was so different from the persona that she had come to know her whole life and it unnerved her to her very core. “I….I don’t we can be together anymore, Tessie.” A tear escaped his eye and his teeth sunk into his bottom lip. He was barely keeping it together as it is and this was making it even harder.

“What?” She asked, alarmed and confused. She squeezed his hand and was relieved when he squeezed back. “What are you talking about, Josh?”

“I just don’t think this is good for you.” His tears finally broke free and his voice was shaking like it was in an earthquake. “I mean look at me. I-I’m holding you back so much. And I’m losing my mind, goin’ fuckin’ crazy, Tessie, I can feel it. I d-don’t know what’s what anymore a-and and f-feel like I’m just falling apart.” He was practically choking on his tears and he was squeezing his her hand so hard it hurt. “I’m so sad and-d empty. And I-I’m just so...I’m so-- I’m just so angry. It’s not good for you to be with me anymore, Tessie. I can’t keep doing this to you.”

While she was listening to him she had begun to cry too, silent streams of tears down her tan skin. “Josh, no! I need you. We need each other remember? We do this together.”

“Tessa, I just-- I can’t.”

She clasped his hand between both of hers and brought to her lips to kiss it, most likely getting her tears all over it. “Joshua, please. I can’t do this without you. Please, baby, I’m begging you.”

He reached his other hand across himself to cup her face and brush away her tears with his thumb. “I can’t do this without you either. But I can’t be with you right now. I don’t want to do this. This is so hard for me, Tessa. Believe me. I’m just not stable. I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.” His voice broke on the last sorry and a fresh wave of tears came upon him. And she had an inkling that he was just apologizing for her. He blamed himself greatly for what happened, and so did she.

She hated that this was happening. Absolutely despised the reality of it all. But she understood why he was doing this, and she couldn’t force him into staying with her. She leaned into his hand on her face and placed her hand over his. She leaned down to kiss him. A simple kiss, filled with compassion and it broke her heart because she may never get to do this again. Their lips were pressed tightly together and it felt like they were made for each other, both of their hearts breaking even further. Theie tears mingled and the hands that were still clasped squeezed for dear life. When she pulled away from him she gave him a sad smile, a fake smile. “I think I should go now, Josh.” He didn’t even reply. He just nodded. He didn’t want her to go but he understood why she was. 

As she stood up to leave she turned back over her shoulder as she turned the door handle. “Josh,” She said in broken voice, “I promise I’m going to bring them home. I’m going to find them.” And with that she all but ran out of the hospital and back to her van. When she got inside she crawled into the couch-like seat in the back, curled up into a ball, and just cried her eyes out. Cried until she felt like she couldn’t breathe. 

 

“You can’t be serious, are you?” Chris asked her as they rode in the cable car, baffled. “You’re not seriously thinking about going into those mines!” 

“No, Chris,” Tessa sighed, “I’m not thinking about it. I’m a hundred percent certain that I’m going down there. The police won’t, so someone has to.”

Emily scoffed at her, “Tessa! That is absolutely crazy. You could get yourself killed down there! You’re being completely ridiculous.”

“I don’t know, Em,” Mike said, sounding irritated. He seemed to do that a lot around Emily now. “I think Tessa is right. I mean we did a pretty shitty thing and maybe it’d be a good thing for us to try and--”

“Us?!” She cut him off. “Who said anything about us? If you think I’m going down into those cruddy old caved in mines then you’re crazy!”

Ashley rolled her eyes and put her hand on her best friend’s shoulder. “Tess, babe, if this is about Josh breaking up with you--”

“It’s not!” Tessa snapped at her. “This has nothing to do with Josh and I. This has to do with you idiots pulling a stupid prank on a vulnerable girl, and I intend to do something to find her and Beth.” That got to Ashley and tears made themselves present in her eyes. She turned her head away from Tessa. Usually seeing Ash cry was one of Tessa’s least favorite things but at the moment, she felt justified about it. “So,” she asked, “is anyone with me on this?”

“I’m game.” Mike said and raised his hand. He would never let it on to people, but this was eating him alive. That prank would have been nothing without him. And if he had just said no he could have stopped the whole thing. Now two wonderful girls could possibly be dead and one of his friends was hospitalized. He’d never hated himself so much in my entire life. 

She knew that Emily wouldn’t go with them if you paid her, it was even a miracle she rolled herself out of bed this early to search. And if Ashley wasn’t going then neither was Chris. So it looked like it would just be her and Mike trekking into those mines. It was only six in the morning currently, so they had at least ten hours to look before the sun went down. 

By the time they got up to the lodge they split their ways, Chris, Ashley, and Em out into the woods to search, and Mike and Tessa with their hiking packs down to find a way into the mines. Tessa had down her research and had found a map to lead them down into the mines. But once they were in, they were on their own. This was pretty risky, and she had way more respect for Mike for doing this with her.

 

They’d made their way into the mines, and they were both equally spooked. Despite it being daylight outside, it was pretty dark down there. Thank god they had brought plenty of flashlights, and food and jackets for that matter. If by some miracle they found Hannah and Beth, they would be starving and freezing. Currently it was now eleven in the morning, they had been at this for four hours and still nothing. Just old artifacts from the mines. They were getting deeper and deeper into the mines and with every step they took, with no map to guide them, they got farther and farther away from safety. They were searching in a tense silence until Tessa’s ears picked up something. Did that sound like a sob? 

“Shh. Mike. Did you hear that?” She whispered to him. 

He nodded at her slowly, his eyes wide and his stance alert. “I think it came from down there,” He whispered back to her as he pointed to the left to an old rusty ladder. 

“Fuck,” She muttered in reply. “Well, looks like we’ll just have to make it down there I guess.”

“Really? Over a noise? We don’t even know what that was. It could be a wild animal or some old piece of junk breaking.”

“No detail is too small,” Tessa said as she walked towards the ladder. “I’m doing everything I can to find them. So if you’d rather stay up here, then suit yourself. I’m finding my friends.”  
She began to descend down the ladder, and pretty soon after, she heard Mike following her. As she went down and down the crying got louder and she thought she heard voices and her heart started racing. Was she imagining all of this?

She jumped down off of the ladder and started frantically searching around the area, Mike following close behind. She caught movement out of the corner of her eye and her sight landed on what looked like a bunch of old steel barrels. She swallowed her nerves and started to walk towards it. When she peered over the top of it to see if anything was there some animal jumped out at her, effectively knocking her over and scampering away. 

“Ah! Fuck!” She yelled in fright when is jumped to her and she hit the hard ground with a thump. Her heart dropped and she wanted to kick and punch and scream. She thought she had fucking found them. And it was a fucking wolverine. Her head fell back with a sigh, “God fucking dammit.” 

“See?” Mike said. “I told you it was an animal.” He checked his watch. “Hey it’s eleven forty-seven. We have about four hours before it starts getting dark. Maybe we should start wrapping this up?”

Her breathing sped up gradually, turning into labored pants. “NO!” She screamed out suddenly. “We can’t! We have to find them, Mike! Even if they’re fucking dead! We need to find Hannah and Beth. We have to! We have to! We have to! We have to!” She kept repeating herself as the tears started flowing and she started pounding her fists into the ground. “I can’t let them die!”

Michael crouched down next to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. “Okay. Okay, Tessa, I’m sorry. We can keep looking,” He said gently to her. He didn’t want to set her off any more than necessary. 

Then after a couple of silent minutes, aside from Tessa’s whimpering and sniveling, they heard something. “Contessa?!” They heard called out into the mines by a hoarse voice. A weak voice. But a familiar voice. Both Tessa and Mike shot up from the ground and shined their lights in the direction they heard the voice. Then they heard it again. “Michael!?”

Tessa took off running. “Beth!? Beth!? Hannah! Is that you?! BETH?! HANNAH!?” Mike followed after her, yelling along with her.

As they were running they saw a figure stumble out into their view. Thin, weak, limping, bloodied, and clutching their starving stomach. It looked like Beth. “Yes! Yes, it’s us! Come help us please! We need to get away! They’ll be back soon!” She hobbled towards them and Tessa and Mike ran to her. Despite her beaten up and starved form, they had never been happier to see her. 

“Beth, oh my god!” Tessa yelled, tears bombarding down her face and she gingerly pulled her into her arms. “Oh my god! How are you still alive? Are you okay? You must be freezing! How did you get down here? Where’s Hannah? You both must be starving! Is she okay?”

Beth swallowed around her dry throat and Mike placed a bottle of water into her shaky hands, which she greedily accepted. “Her l-leg is broken. You need to get her n-now. We have to get out. It’s g-gonna come b-back soon. We have to go.”

Mike slowed her down. “Whoa whoa whoa, Beth, what’s coming back?”

“N-no time.” Beth said as she shook her head. “We have to go now.”

They both nodded and followed Beth as she shakily led them back to Hannah. She was bloodied and broken and wearing an old tattered jack, Beth must have found it down here. It absolutely broke both of their hearts, but they couldn’t be happier to see them.

“Oh god, Hannah!” Mike said as he kneeled down next to Hannah to pick her up. She winced and whimpered, tears rolling down her face and choking out sobs as he helped her up. “I can’t believe this happened to you I’m so sorry. I’m so so so sorry.” Her threw her arm over one shoulder and helped her start to hobble out of the mines. Tessa doing the same thing for Beth. They made a few stops along the way to give them both water and food but they had to keep moving. Both Hannah and Beth seemed horrified of the impending nightfall and were more than eager to get out of the mines. Even though, was saying nothing. 

Tessa and Mike had pulled off a miracle. And they couldn’t wait to get their friends out of these mines and home, into a hospital, safe and sound. They were both ecstatic to find Hannah and Beth alive, but they knew things would never be the same. Not now. Not ever.


End file.
